


what the fuck is up losers

by ken_tv



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Communism, Crack, Dick Pics, Dirty Jokes, Everyone Is Gay, Gay Jokes, LMAO, M/M, Swearing, We'll tag as we go, a lot of swearing, be easy on us, chat fic, except mark, jeno is donghaes cousin, mentioned vomit kink, super junior are mentioned, they're all idiots, this is our first fic, wattpad, we don't know what we're doing, yukki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-12-24
Packaged: 2019-04-20 18:31:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 4,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14267055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ken_tv/pseuds/ken_tv
Summary: Someone save lucas from his maths teacher ... asapOrLucas needs help so he creates a group chat (but nobody likes him and everyone leaves)





	1. Homework Swaggers

01:27 am

 **_XUXI_ ** _created a new group chat_

 **_XUXI_ ** _added **TY Track, Bunny_Boi, LoseLose, Markly, Junguwu** and **Jeffrey**_

 **_XUXI_ ** _set the group chat name to “ **Homework Swaggers”**_

****

**XUXI:** yo yo yo whats swaggin famalam

****

**_TY Track_ ** _left group chat_

 **_Jeffrey_ ** _left group chat_

 **_LoseLose_ ** _left group chat_

 **_Bunny_Boi_ ** _left the group chat_

 **_Junguwu_ ** _left the group chat_

**Markly:** what the fuck is up losers

**XUXI:** well fuck im the only loser here

 

 **_XUXI_ ** _added **TY Track, Jeffrey, LoseLose, Bunny_Boi** and **Junguwu**_

****

**Bunny_Boi:** what the fuck do you want

 **Bunny_Boi:** wait a second

 **Bunny_Boi:** who the fuck even are you

 

 **XUXI:** im in ur maths class lol

 

 **Bunny_Boi:**???

 

 **XUXI:** tall, hispanic, i guess i shout a lot

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** oh shit lucas?

 

 **XUXI:** ye lmao

 **XUXI:** anyway

 **XUXI:** our maths homework is due in 7 hours and 31 minutes and idk wtf im doing lol

 

 **Jeffrey:** wtf we had homework???????

 

 **LoseLose:** lol ye ur fucked

 

 **Jeffrey:** fuck me sideways and call me Yoonoh

 

 **TY Track:** gladly

 

 **LoseLose:** no gays allowed in this christian gc

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** thats not what you said when yuta was balls deep in your ass and we could hear you from the common room

 

 **Markly:** lmaoooooooooooooooooo

 

 **_Markly_ ** _added **Osaka_Prince**_

 

 **XUXI:** shut up mark nobody fucking cares

 **XUXI:** ok guys listen

 **XUXI:** i dont want my ass beat like taeyong so can someone send me the homework before i jump out the window

 

 **Jeffrey:** lol no one send it to him

 

 **LoseLose:** ill give you a fiver if you jump

 

 **Junguwu:** guys shut the h*ck up or i'll jump

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** NOOOOOOOOO

 

 **Jeffrey:** NOOOOOOO

 

 **LoseLose:** shit someone send him the hw

 

 **Markly:** lol ill pay a tenner if you both do it 

 

 **TY Track:** mark shut up you hetero

 **TY Track:** [picture attached]

 

 **XUXI:** THANK YOU MY SAVIOUR

 **XUXI:** GOMBUDA

 

 ** _LoseLose_  ** _removed **XUXI**_

 

 **LoseLose:** no koreebs in this christian gc either

 

 **Junguwu:** seriously be quiet guys im trying to sleep

 

 **Markly:** no ur mum gay

 

_**Junguwu** added  **XUXI**_

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** ye and your granny tranny

 

 **TY Track:** kids go the fuck to sleep or go offline and have a wank or smth

 

___

02:35 am

 

 **Osaka_Prince:** i just read the messages and what the fuck

 **Osaka_Prince:** sicheng pm me nOW

 


	2. Taeyong get fucked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> our friend group has an inside joke that mingyu has a vomit kink  
> you have been warned

7:20 pm

 

 

 **XUXI:** GUYS FUCK I GOT 92 ON THAT MATHS HOMEWOrk

 **XUXI:** THATS LIKE 90 MORE THAN I USUALLY GET

 

 **TY Track:** wtf i got 78 how is that even possible

 

 **XUXI:** IDK FAM BUT IM FUCKING HYPED

 

 **TY Track:** ok but what drugs was Taeil on while correcting??????

 

 **XUXI:** who tf is taeil lol

 

 **TY Track:** the teacher's assistant you twat

 **TY Track:** here let me add him so i can confront him like man 

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** ye a man who gets his ass rimmed every night

 

 **Markly:** yEET

 

_**TY Track** added  **MoonTaeil**_

 

 **TY Track:** ok taeil i know youre busy but wHAT THE FUCK

 **TY Track:** HOW DID LUCAS GET A HIGHER SCORE THAN ME EVEN THOUGH I DID ALL THE WORK AND HE JUST HAD HIS HAND ON HIS DICK ALL DAY

 

 **XUXI:** my dick is quite nice thank you very much

 **XUXI:** my hand cant resist to touch it lol

 

 **LoseLose:** bro thats kinda gay

 

 **Markly:** ur mum gay

 

 **TY Track:** fuck off mark

 

 **XUXI:** fuck off mark

 

 **LoseLose:** fuck off mark 

 

 **Markly:** wow ok this is hate speech

 

 **MoonTaeil:** Taeyong, why did you add me here?

 

 **TY Track:** because i smell bullshit

 **TY Track:** i spent 2 hours on that homework last night and this dickwad spent five seconds on it

 

 **MoonTaeil:** I'm sorry to hear that Taeyong, but whining at me won't change your grade. Instead of wasting time whining about your score, actually study and do something productive. 

 

 **LoseLose:** lol taeyong get fucked

 

 **Osaka_Prince:** ye he already does

 **Osaka_Prince:** by jaehyun

 

 **LoseLose:** ew dont say that ever again

 **LoseLose:** i will actually throw up

 

 **Jeffrey:** ha dont say that around mingyu from Home Economics

 **Jeffrey:** he might bust a nut

 **Jeffrey:** (we think he might have a vomit kink)

 

 **Markly:** haha nut a bust haha

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** haha shut up hetero haha

 

 **Markly:** why are you even using that as if it was a slur

 **Markly:** ill have you know, im not even straight

 

 **LoseLose:** *gasp*

 

 **Osaka_Prince:** nice joke straight boy

 

 **Markly:** IM SERioUS

 **Markly:** ive been dating this guy from my english class for the past two months

 

 **LoseLose:** OOOooOOooh add him

 

_**Markly** added  **Hansenon**_

 

 **Hansenon:**... uh hi

 **Hansenon:** do i know you?

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** hi dude so whats it like being mark lee's boyfriend?

 

 **Hansenon:**  boyfriend? i thought mark was a straight

 

 **Markly:** ...

 

 **Osaka_Prince:** ooooooooh exposed 

 

_**LoseLose** changed  **Markly** 's conctact name to  **Hetero**_

 

 **Hetero:** H A T E   S P E E C H


	3. LUCAS NO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok sorry this was supposed to be addressed in the first chapter but we're still trying to work out how ao3 works  
> ok so we have a group chat and it inspired us to create an nct group chat or what we think it would be like, there might be some inside jokes (eg mingyu with a vomit kink) so we apologise in advance 
> 
> this was meant as a shitty joke but i guess people are enjoying it  
> have fun reading this mistake!

09:33 am

 

 **Junguwu:** hey guys i know this gc was originally created for homework but i need some help

 

 **Jeffrey:** sure buddy

 **Jeffrey:** what is it

 

 **Junguwu:** so you know shownu from geography?

 **Junguwu:** ye he asked me out and idk what to wear

 **Junguwu:** so i want to look cute but i dont want to look like im trying too hard

 **Junguwu:** but then again i still want to look good and i dont want him to think i dont care

 **Junguwu:** UUUUUUGHhhhhhh so stressful

 

 **XUXI:** it doesnt matter what you wear

 **XUXI:** youd still look cute 

 

 **LoseLose:** hA thats gay

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** shut up sicheng yOURE LITerally a gAy

 

 **Osaka_Prince:** lol we all are

 **Osaka_Prince:** well maybe except mARK

 

 **Hetero:** fuck off

 

 **Junguwu:** ok guys!!!!

 **Junguwu:** what do you think of this

 **Junguwu:** [image attached]

 

 **Jeffrey:** wait a second

 

**_Jeffrey_ ** _added **J O H N**_

 

 **LoseLose:** who tf is that lol

 

 **J O H N:** ayo

 **J O H N:** its ya boi

 **J O H N:** uh 

 **J O H N:** skinny penis

 

 **LoseLose:** i love him already

 

 **J O H N:** did someone ask for johnny's fashion evaluation?

 

 **Junguwu:** yes me!!!

 **Junguwu:** could you rate my outfit plz

 

 **J O H N:** boy you is finger licking good

 

 **XUXI:** im sure shownu will love it :)))))))))

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** wow jealous much 

 

 **XUXI:** no why would u say that 

 **XUXI:** im happy for them :))))))

 

 **Jeffrey:** sure buddy

 **Jeffrey:** whatever helps you sleep at night

 

 **XUXI:** :(

 

 **Junguwu:** oh no yukhei are you ok?

 **Junguwu:** did something happen?

 

 **LoseLose:** *sad violin music*

 

 **J O H N:** you look great already but just add a choker and youll look slurpalicious

 

 **TY Track:** you can borrow one of mine 

 

 **Junguwu:** thank you so much!!!

 **Junguwu:** ill be going now wish me luck!!!

 

___

02:05 pm

 

 **TY Track:** jungwoo

 **TY Track:** are you still with shownu?

 

 **Junguwu:** yup!!!!!!!

 **Junguwu:** [image attached]

 

 **MoonTaeil:** Awww you two are a nice couple!

 **MoonTaeil:** You're my OTP.

 

 **LoseLose:** ew literally no one says that anymore

 

 **XUXI:** [image attached]

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** LUCAS NO

 

 **Jeffrey:** LUCAS NO

 

 **TY Track:** WHY DID YOU SEND A PIC OF YOUR DICK

 

 **Osaka_Prince:** im not complaining lmao

 **Osaka_Prince:** u were right it is quite nice

 

 **J O H N:** wow wtf

 **J O H N:** this gc wildt

 

 **XUXI:** oops wrong chat sorry lol

 

 **Junguwu:** umm yukhei ...

 **Junguwu:** was that a picture of your d*ck?

 

 **LoseLose:** NO SHIT SHERLOcK

 

 **XUXI:** haha sorry :)

 **XUXI:** hows ur date going btw 

 

 **Junguwu:** oh no he saw my phone

 **Junguwu:** he said he has to leave :((

 

 **Hetero:** ooooOOOOOOOH

 

 **Junguwu:** :'(

 

**_Junguwu_ ** _left group chat_

 

 **XUXI:**  SHIT FUCK I FUCKED UP

 

_**XUXI** added  **Junguwu**_

 

 **XUXI:** im so sorry 

 **XUXI:** do u wanna come over 2 mine

 **XUXI:** we can get ice cream

 

 **Junguwu:** aww that sounds so nice!!!

 **Junguwu:** thanks yukhei!!

 

 **Osaka_Prince:** ha lucas gonna get his d i c c w e t t 

 


	4. Communist Propaganda

12:30pm

 

 **TY Track:** lol my ass is sore

 

 **LoseLose** :thanks for sharing your homoerotic pastimes with us taeyong

 

 **TY Track:** i once shoved a whole cucumber up my anus

 **TY Track:** it nearly hit my lungs

 

 **Osaka_Prince:** did u film it?

 

 **XUXI:** haha jungwoo can relate 

 

 **Bunny_Boi:**????

 

 **XUXI:** to getting his lungs hit by a $chlong

 

 **J O H N:** lol wtf 

 

 **TY Track:** ye yuta hmu i can send it to u

 **TY Track:** holy shit guys that was my friend 

 **Ty Track:** pretend like this never happened 

 

 **XUXI:** ;)))))))))

 

 **Hetero:** add him he seems ...

 **Hetero:** umm how should i put it

 **Hetero:** fun?

 

**_TY Track_ ** _added **10outof10**_

 

 

 **Jeffrey:** hey dude whats poppin'

 

 **10outof10:** yo sup my name is chittaphon leechaiyapornkul

 **10outof10** : but u can call me ten

 

 **Hetero:** haha porn 

 

 **J O H N:** yo ten is that you

 **J O H N:** its johnny from highschool

 

 **10outof10:** oh long time no see

 **10outof10:** did u get rid of that sti yet?

 

 **Hetero:** lmaoooooooooo

 

 **10outof10:** shut up hetero

 

 **Hetero:** rude

 

 **Hansenon:** you deserve it tho lol

 

 **Hetero:** hyuck i truSTED YOu

 

 **J O H N:** anyways

 **J O H N:** fyi i did get rid of it 

 **J O H N:** btw do you remember when you jacked me off in history that one time

 

 **10outof10:** communist propaganda gets me all hot and bothered

 

 **Osaka_Prince:** once a communist forever a communist

 

 **LoseLose:** what the actual fuck

 

 **Junguwu:** yukhei???

 **Junguwu:** why the h*ck did you tell everyone that

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** well at least we know how the ice cream date went

 

 **XUXI:** ;)))))))))

 

 **Hetero:** while we're on the topic of communism i have a friend

 **Hetero:** hes from north korea so he got to experience it first hand

 

_**Hetero** added  **Lonjwin**_

 

 **Hetero:** renjun how was north korea lol

 

 **Lonjwin:** fuck off dude im sick of your bullshit

 

 **J O H N:** yo are u actually from north korea tho

 

 **Lonjwin:** no fuck off im chinese

 

 **LoseLose:** oh cool me too

 

 **XUXI:** lol me three

 **XUXI:** woah eye knee

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** no one likes you lucas

 

 **XUXI:** :(

 

___

9:52pm

 

 **TY Track:** yuta why tf did you actually pm me about the video

 

 **Osaka_Prince:** why did you actually send it to me

 **Osaka_Prince:** hmmmm

 

 **LoseLose:** gross™

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol this is kinda dry and its probably gonna be like that until we have all of ot18
> 
> ps dont jack off someone in class plz


	5. Cute Spit Roasting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol sorry for not updating we were busy nutting over super junior  
> why are so many people reading this i swear
> 
> also this chapter is so shitty poor doyoung

12:31am

 

 **Hansenon:** ok guys

 **Hansenon:** ik i dont talk much but

 **Hansenon:** is literally everyone in this gc gay?

 

 **Hetero:** i swear if someone mentions me being straight i will jump off the nearest bridge 

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** do you promise?

 

 **Hetero:** Fuk u

 

 **Hansenon:** anyway

 **Hansenon:** is anyone in the gc dating?

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** well if you qualify a handy every morning in the janitors closet then ye

 **Bunny_Boi:** yuta and sicheng are

 

 **10outof10** :were not dating but fun fact

 **10outof10:** id gladly bounce on johnnys cock

 

 **J O H N:** longer the fingers deeper the penetration

 

 **10outof10:** i want daddy to shove his monstrous indian dick up my ass while i choke on his fingers

 

 **J O H N:** woah thats kinda hot

 **J O H N:** im gonna eat ur ass out just like i ate jaehyuns bread

 

 **TY Track:**  shut the fuck up there are kids on here

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** taeyong kiss my ass you cant really say much

 **Bunny_Boi:** its not like you and jaehyun fuck like rabbits whenever youre left alone

 

 **10outof10:** haha do u join in

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** thats none of your business

 **Bunny_Boi:** go back to sucking on a fat dick

 

 **J O H N:** thnx dyoung i was starting to get impatient

 

 **XUXI:** lol taeyong doyoung and jaehyun smashing

 **XUXI:** cute spit roasting

 

 **Jeffrey:** doyoung isnt a top tho lol

 

 **Junguwu:** are you sure about that?

 

 **XUXI:** oefowefhowngjo[I FPw[ufvOUWQFg;

 

 **Jeffrey:** lol wtf 

 **Jeffrey:** ye i am sure

 **Jeffrey:** :):):):)

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** sorry to interrupt your convo about me taking it up the ass but i just want to kindly remind you that

 **Bunny_Boi:** i

 **Bunny_Boi:** hate

 

 **Hetero:** omg guess what

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** you

 **Bunny_** **Boi:** all

 **Bunny_Boi:** fOR FUCKS SAKE MARK

 

 **XUXI:** marcus dun goofed lmao

 

 **Hansenon:** ew guys i was just curious 

 

 **Lonjwin:** ha time to bleach my eyeballs

 

**_MoonTaeil_ ** _left group chat_

 

 **Hetero:** ha pussy ass bicth

 

 **J O H N:** lets add him back tomorrow hes probably having a wank

 

 **Jeffrey:** wait so if were jacking off do we have to leave

 

**_Osaka_Prince_ ** _left group chat_

**_Jeffrey_ ** _added **Osaka_Prince**_ **  
**

 

 **Jeffrey:** lol dude i was just joking

 

 **Osaka_Prince:** i wasnt

 

 


	6. Vegetable Kinks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what does the gay horse eat? haaaaayyyy

7:45pm

 

 **XUXI:** so i got 14% on my korean final

 **XUXI:** and then i had a mental breakdown because i realised i cant speak any language fluently

 **XUXI:** and u kno what the best part of this story is?

 **XUXI:** my teacher told me to kms

 

 **Junguwu:** aww which teacher :(

 

**_XUXI_ ** _added **MoonTaeil**_

 

 **LoseLose:** skrrt

 

 **10outof10:** what languages do u already speak

 

 **XUXI:** nonE ApParently

 

 **Jeffrey:** shut up 

 **Jeffrey:** which do u kinda speak then

 

 **XUXI:** english, cantonese, mandarin and korean

 

 **LoseLose:** wait dont u speak spanish

 

 **XUXI:** lol no rip

 

 **Lonjwin:** did someone say mandarin

 

 **Hansenon:** haha had a mandarin this morning 

 **Hansenon:** is that cultural appropriation

 

 **Lonjwin:** that not funny fuck off

 **Lonjwin:** as i was going to say

 **Lonjwin:** i know these two people who recently moved here from china, maybe they could teach you some mandarin

 

 **XUXI:** oh who are they 

 

 **Lonjwin:** chenle and kun

 

 **XUXI:** oh i kno kun!!!!

 **XUXI:** fat kun

 

**_Lonjwin_ ** _added **Kun <3 **and  **ZhOnG**_

 

 **Kun <3: **hey nice to meet you guys

 **Kun <3: **im kun

 

 **Hetero:** hey kun

 **Hetero:** hEY CHENLE I HAVENT TALKED TO U IN AGES

 

 **ZhOnG:** yikes youre here

 

 **Hetero:** wow i love my fans

 

 **Kun <3: **renjun told me that someone wanted help with their mandarin

 

 **XUXI:** ye thats me

 

 **LoseLose:** dont help him hes a cuck

 **LoseLose:** watching people struggle turns me on

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** hey sicheng yutas got your phone

 

 **Osaka_Prince:** fuck you im not into everything

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** you literally asked taeyong to send you a video of him getting impaled with a cucumber

 

 **Osaka_Prince:** excuse me hes the one who actually sent it

 

**_Bunny_Boi_ ** _changed **Osaka_Prince** 's contact name to  **PickleDick**_

 

 **10outof10:** ive seen his nudes

 **10outof10:** Hes not wrong

 

 **PickleDick:** wait how i didnt send them to you

 

 **Jeffrey:** ha sicheng dun goofed

 

 **ZhOnG:** wait guys i thought we were helping someone with langauges

 **ZhOnG:** i didnt want to read about your vegetable kinks

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** its just yuta

 **Bunny_Boi:** dont overgeneralise 

 

 **Kun <3: **alright xuxi

 **Kun <3: **i can send some questions and you can answer them so i can see what you know and what you dont

 

 **XUXI:** sure go ahead

 

 **Kun <3: **[image attached]

 

 **XUXI:** aishhhh~~~~

 **XUXI:** this looks hard

 

 **XUXI:** [image attached]

 

 **LoseLose:** how dARE U DISrespect my country likE THaT

 **LoseLose:** and get your koreaboo ass off here 

 

 **XUXI:** or what

 **XUXI:** are u going to punish me for being a bad boy ;)

 

 **LoseLose:** ew gross

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** im sure youve done that with yuta before

 **Bunny_Boi:** or yuta did that with you

 

 **ZhOnG:** yall are probematic af

 **ZhOnG:** im leaving

 

___

9:23pm

 

 **Hetero:** ha he didnt leave

 **Hetero:** trick ass bitch

 


	7. Sugar Daddy Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dont get triggered we're just feeling very super junior lately plus who wouldn't nut over shindong and his yellow lipstick
> 
> also that picture of jeno and donghae is iconic

09:27 am

 

 **Hansenon:** guys guys my album came 

 

 **Jeffrey:** oh cool dude what album

 

 **Hansenon:** super juniors replay

 

 **Hetero:** oh fuck i love them whos your bias

 

 **Hansenon:** its shindong lol

 

 **Hetero:** oh cool same 

 

 **XUXI:** we love out hispanaboo kings

 

 **LoseLose:** lo siento more like NO siento haha git fucked

 

 **Lonjwin:** i laughed more at my grandmas funeral than i did at that joke

 

 **J O H N:** woooaaahh calm down there edge lord

 

 **Hansenon:** YOOO I GOT A SHINDONG PHOTOCARD

 

 **Hetero:** ooh im jealous can i have it 

 

 **Hansenon:** no lol fuck off

 

 **Hetero:** fuck u then u snake ass bitch

___

2:45 pm

 

 **Hansenon:** mARK I SWEAR DID U STEAL MY PHOTOCARD

 

 **Hetero:** no i didnt lol

 

 **Hansenon:** YE U DID SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I SMACK U THE FUCK UP

 **Hansenon:** I SAW IT IN UR PHONE CASE

 

 **10outof10:** ooh beef beef beef

 

 **Hansenon:** IM NOt talKIGTO U UNTIL U GIVE IT BACK

 

 **Hetero:** ha i dont even need u 

 **Hetero:** lucas is my new best friend

 

 **XUXI:** lol u wish 

 

 **TY Track:** mark just give it back to him 

 **TY Track:** its not worth it

 **TY Track:** get your own album of photocard or smth

 

 **Hetero:** too late already jacked off to it

 **Hetero:** it was a good wank

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** ew the straights are at it again

 **Bunny_Boi:** heteros are all snakes pass it on

 

 **LoseLose:** ew mark hes literally twice your age 

 

 **Hetero:** sugar daddy dreams 

 

 **Hansenon:** ew u kno what

 **Hansenon:** keep it i dont want ur jizz anywhere near me

 

 **10outof10:** ew jizz

 

 **J O H N:** shut up we both know u like to slurp it up like the good baby boy u are

 

 **Jeffrey:** sTop dont say anything else

 **Jeffrey:** discuss your sexual fantasies somewhere else

 

 **Lonjwin:** oh i have a friend who met donghae lol

 

 **Junguwu:** oh thats nice add him!!!

 

**_Lonjwin_ ** _added **Swagno**_

 

 **Lonjwin:** hey jeno ppl were talking about suju and that time you met donghae

 

 **Jeffrey:** where did you meet him?

 

 **Swagno:** at a family bbq lol

 **Swagno:** hes my cousin

 

 **Hetero:** oh well if u kno him then could u get him to send me a new shindong photocard bc mark jizzed on my last one

 

 **Swagno:** asjdakshkh mark tf

 **Swagno:** actually i think were having dinner later 

 **Swagno:** i can ask him then

 

___

8:46 pm

 **Swagno:** donghae told me to block u all

 

 **Hansenon:** am i getting my photocard or not

 

 **Swagno:** a photocard maybe not but definitely a restraining order

 

 **Hansenon:** ay its not my jizz 

 

 **Hetero:** dont blame me 

 **Hetero:** it was the yellow lipstick


	8. am i pregante?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update we were masturbating
> 
> also i wrote this chapter out and it got deleted so i had to retype it and i want kms

2:37pm

 **TY Track:** guys i need to get out of here

 **TY Track:** does anyone want anything from the shop

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** why are you typing this we are literally in the same room

 

 **TY Track:** i dont want the library lady to shank my dick

 

 **LoseLose:** kinky

 

 **Jeffrey:** get me a cup of coffee

 

 **J O H N:** ye and a tub of pringles

 

 **10outof10:** ooh get some paluszki

 **10outof10:** make sure theyre the kids ones

 

 **Hetero:** im sorry wot

 **Hetero:** i dont speak  s l a v

 

 **Junguwu:** could you get a pregnancy test

 

 **J O H N:** what the fukc

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** why do you need a pregnancy test

 

 **Junguwu:** i threw up the morning after my ice cream date with lucas

 **Junguwu:** i think i might pregonant

 

 **TY Track:** maybe you're just lactose intolerant

 

 **Junguwu:** wait does semen have lactose

 

 **10outof10:** wHEEZE

 

 **Junguwu:** why are you wheezing?

 **Junguwu:** are you lactose intolerant too?

 

 **Jeffrey:** ha if he was intolerant hed be dead already

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** jungwoo sweetheart semen doesnt have lactose

 

 **Junguwu:** omg i must be gregnant then

 **Junguwu:** what should i do??

 **Junguwu:** how should i tell my parents im prangent

 

 **XUXI:** oh my god babe dont panic

 **XUXI:** does this mean im gonna be a father

 **XUXI:** if its a boy im gonna call him lucas jr

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** that is fucking disgusting

 **Bunny_Boi:** if that was my name id kms

 

 **J O H N:** this is the library lady speaking, everyone of you disgust me

 **J O H N:** did no one tell you youre not allowed to be on your phone in the library

 

 **TY Track:** sorry ma'am 

 **TY Track:** can you give johnny back his phone please

 **TY Track:** we will leave the library immediately

 

 **J O H N:** you might want to tell your friend to change his chat background

 **J O H N:** its disgusting

 **J O H N:** yo i got my phone back skrrt

 

 **Jeffrey:** what even is your chat bg

 

 **10outof10:** its a screenshot from the taeyong and cucumber video

 

 **TY Track:** dude wtf

 

 **J O H N:** to mY DEFEnse

 **J O H N:** yuta set it as that as a joke last week and i never got around to changing it

 **J O H N:** im a v busy person

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** ye busy jerking off

 

 **J O H N:** life with a high sex drive is very hard you kno

 

 **Hetero:** is that how you got that sti back in the day

 

 **J O H N:** pretty much

 **J O H N:** moral of the story is:

 **J O H N:** be careful as to where you stick your dick in

 

 **Junguwu:** guys!!!!

 **Junguwu:** im really worried

 **Junguwu:** can we be serious here

 

 **TY Track:** jungwoo honey theres no way youre pregonag

 **TY Track:** youre a guy and guys dont get pergonat

 **TY Track:** youll be fine

 

 **Junguwu:** oh my gosh really!!!!!

 

 **XUXI:** aww i was looking forward to lucas jr

 **XUXI:** tbh im kinda dissapointed


	9. Taeil in the Cellar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> squelch

4:23 am

 **PickleDick:** why tf is taeil sitting here in the gas station bawling his eyes out

 **PickleDick:** its fucking 3 am i dont get paid enough for this

 

 **TY Track:** oh shit you found him

 **TY Track:** ive been looking for him for the past forty minutes 

 **TY Track:** ill come get him

 

 **PickleDick:** why is he neked

 

 **TY Track:** i dont fcuking know you asstwat 

 **TY Track:** we were playing monopoly and i went to take a piss 

 **TY Track:** and believe it or not

 **TY Track:** he was gone

 **TY Track:** i nearly had a brain aneurism

 

 **PickleDick:** if ur gonna collect him hurry up

 **PickleDick:** im not a fucking baby sitter

 

 **LoseLose:** maaybe thats a good thing

 **LoseLose:** youd end up fondling the poor children

 

 **J O H N:** ksjksdksjdjskdk

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** be careful sicheng since you look about 12

 

 **PickleDick:** tAEYONG WHER EH|HE F|UCK ARE YOu

 **PickleDick:** hEs TRUONF TO EGT |ITNO TEH FUCKTN CELlAR

 

 **ZhOnG:** ha let him stay there

 

 **PickleDick:** ShUT UP or ill throw you in there with him

 

 **ZhOnG:** no need to be rude

 

5:38 am

 

 

 **PickleDick:** taeil i nearly got firedd 

 **PickleDick:** whyd u take a shet in teh cellar

 **PickleDick:** taeyong its ur fault for getting him drunk

 

 **TY Track:** he was completely sober wdym

 

 **J O H N:** taeil wilding out here 

 

 **MoonTaeil:** I just wanted jammy dodgers. I deeply apologise.

 

 **PickleDick:** do yoU HVA ENO SHAME

 **PickleDick:** YOU LITERALLY DOEPPWD A CHUNKY LOG RIGHT IN FORNT OF ME 

 

 **10outof10:** reminds me of my 18th birthday party

 

 **TY Track:** honestly why am i not surprised


	10. Some New Fap Material

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sicheng is a wattpad weeb 
> 
> uwu potato-chan

6:54pm

 **PickleDick:** guys guys

 **PickleDick:** youll never guess what

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** i bet youll tell us anyway you moron

 

 **PickleDick:** so i was on sichengs phone

 **PickleDick:** and i tried to look something up

 **PickleDick:** and there was a tab open 

 **PickleDick:** guess what it was

 

 **Jeffrey:** is this gc turning into a trivia game

 

 **10outof10:** if so then i have a question

 **10outof10:** how many inches do u think i can deepthroat

 

 **J O H N:** 10 

 **J O H N:** because you can barely fit my massive cock

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** is that supposed to be a pun

 **Bunny_Boi:** also can yall shut up about your sex life

 **Bunny_Boi:** we hear you guys enough as it is

 

 **Hetero:** u prolly jerk off to it

 

 **PickleDick:** no one guessed so i guess ill tell you

 **PickleDick:** there in front of my eyes i saw a name i never wanted to see again

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** get on with it you asstwat

 

 **Hetero:** ha is he talking about furry tentacle porn

 

 **PickleDick:** it was wattpad

 

 **Jeffrey** : the fuck are u 10

 

 **10outof10:** ha no i am

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** i really wanna smack you from the bottom of my heart

 

 **J O H N:** thats only my job

 

 **PickleDick:** is anyone fucking listening

 

 **MoonTaeil:** I'm listening Yuta baby

 

 **PickleDick:** ok wtf

 **PickleDick:** anywho

 **PickleDick:**  to make it even worse

 **PickleDick:** it was a self written fic

 **PickleDick:** about taeyong and xu minghao from computer science

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** oh 

 

 **Jeffrey:** did you really need to send five different messages for that

 

 **PickleDick:** yes.

 **PickleDick:** also heres a link

**PickleDick:<https://www.wattpad.com/530708948-what%27s-for-dinner-money-and-cocaine>**

 

 **J O H N:** some new fap material

 

 **LoseLose:** i know right

 

 **J O H N:** does anyone have minghaos number omg someone add him

 

_**Jeffrey** added  **Mxnghxx**_

 

 **Mxnghxx:**  what the fuck is up losers 

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** that sounds familiar

 

 **Jeffrey:** minghao youre in a fic where you want to fuck a fridge i dont think you have any reason to be so happy

 

 **Mxnghxx:** ill do what i want

 **Mxnghxx:** fuck bitches get money

 

 **10outof10:** fuck money get bitches?

 

 **Hetero:** bitches fuck money get

 

 **PickleDick:** i recommend that you block winwin as soon as possible

 

 **Mxnghxx:** ha shut up im gonna read it

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** omg you can read?

 

 **Mxnghxx:** ye i can read ur mums pussy

 

_**Bunny_Boi** removed  **Mxnghxx**_

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** we respect wamen in this house

 

 **J O H N:** it really do be like that sometimes :/

 

9:02pm

 **LoseLose:** gUYs

 **LoseLose:** minghao dropped his major because of that

 

 **10outof10:** computer science is gay as fuck

 

 **Jeffrey:** shut up ten this is straight hours

 

 **Hetero:** finAlLy

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> read the link lol  
> also we have nothing against computer science dont sue us


	11. Soz Im Dizglescic

11:42pm

 **XUXI:** nsdslskffsjsjnjsfjsj

 **XUXI:** oqho48irhruwd8r89

 **XUXI:** siojdwoedowwbo

 

 **LoseLose:** its his last 2 braincells trying to communicate

 

 **XUXI:** jjoruo2u2sdkjeewi

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** dude wtf 

 

 **XUXI:** wdqlkqfhalahakj

 **XUXI:** sdhu383usjnajdh7bj

 

 **10outof10:** its his strap on hitting the screan

 

 **LoseLose:** excuse me did you just spell screen with an a

 

 **10outof10:**  ye soz im dysklescic 

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** thats why his name is a number 

 

 **LoseLose:** bella thorne felt that

 

 **Jeffrey:** yikes

 

 **XUXI:** guys im actually having a breakdown

 

 **LoseLose:** ugh what is this time

 

 **XUXI:** i miss mark :(((((

 

 **Jeffrey:** umm wtf 

 

 **XUXI:** he hasnt been online in like 91873 years and i miss my bitchass dog

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** oh shit i forgot he even existed

 

 **Jeffrey:** isnt his friend in this gc

 **Jeffrey:** someone ask him where mark is

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** you can ask him yourself you dipshit

 

 **Jeffrey:** ooh feisty lil thang

 

 **Hansenon:** marks friend has a name and his name is donghyuck thank you very much

 

 **LoseLose:** omg can you shut up

 **LoseLose:** just tell us where mark is

 

 **Hansenon:** honestly ive no clue

 **Hansenon:** last time i heard from him he was hitting the bongo with jaemin

 

 **TY Track:** arent they underage

 

 **10outof10:** i thought mark was straight

 **10outof10:** oh

 **10outof10:** nvm ur talking about marridueana

 

 **LoseLose:** what the fuck is that

 

 **J O H N:** he did say he was dicklexica

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** oi donghyuck

 **Bunny_Boi:** add that jaemin boy he needs a schlonging

 

 **LoseLose:** that is nOt what schlonging means

 

**_Hansenon_ ** _added **Jemima**_

 

 **Jemima:** ahaha

 **Jemima:** eyy

 **Jemima:** its ya boy

 **Jemima:** uhh

 **Jemima:** skinny penis

 

 **LoseLose:** ha we already used that joke

 

 **Jemima:** this entire fic is a used joke

 

 **Hetero:** thats fuckin  w o k e

 

 **XUXI:** OH MY GOD MY BABY 

 **XUXI:** HES ALIV e

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** unfortunately

 

 

02:37am

 **XUXI:** iwodqoifob39k ifqbuq

 **XUXI:** qjcbqovboovbqvs 

 

 **LoseLose:** oh no hes smashing again

 

 **10outof10:** that poor strap on

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we need to address some things lol  
> well first of all we write this fic whenever we skype so updates arent that frequent whoops  
> as well as that we shit on svt a lot and we're sorry for that but honestly they deserve it, we love them though  
> we should also say that we love all members of nct and we mean no harm plz dont take this seriously this is a joke  
> we also didnt mean to offend anyone with the dyslexic joke sorry if we did  
> annyeonh chingus <3


	12. Oh Sorry Nephew

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> whoops

12:35pm

 

 **ZhOnG:** yo theres this loner in my class

 **ZhOnG:** i kinda feel bad for him

 **ZhOnG:** here make friends with him

 

 **TY Track:** sure go ahead this gc has been a bit dry lately

 

_**ZhOnG** added  **Peesung**_

 

 **ZhOnG:** be nice to him

 

 **Peesung:** hi im jisung nice to meet you

 

 **10outof10:** sup dude im ten

 

 **Peesung:** hi ten im jisung

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** ye you already said that

 

 **Peesung:** oh sorry nephew :(

 **Peesung:** whats your name

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** im doyoung

 

 **Peesung:** hi doyoung im jisung

 

 **LoseLose:** alright fucking hell we fucking get it it

 **LoseLose:** youre so annoying can you shut the fuck up before i smack you the fuck up

 **LoseLose:** if you say your name one more fucking time ill kick you out of this fucking groupchat

 

 **Peesung:** hi angry man im jisung

 

 **LoseLose:** i swEAR TO FUCKING GOD ILL fucKING KICK YOU YOU LITTle sHit

 

 **Jeffrey:** name one reason why i shouldnt kick you 

 

 **Peesung:** i am the reason why this gc was brought back from the dead

 

 **LoseLose:** wow someone is becoming full of themselves

 

 **Peesung:** well i am jisung afterall

 

 **ZhOnG:** shut up or ill smack you when we go back to school

 

 **Peesung:** what are you going to do

 **Peesung:** hit me with your massive head

 

 **ZhOnG:** what am i gonna do 

 **ZhOnG:** say no?

 

 **XUXI:** FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

 

 **ZhOnG:** ill beat you too lucas

 

 **XUXI:** ha you wont even reach my ankles

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** i still bet on chenle winning because hes not a tragic fuck up like the rest of you 

 

 **10outof10:** says the one who has a tragic hairline

 

 **Bunny_** **Boi:** i think you got me mixed up with chenle

 

 **ZhOnG:** what the hell did i do to get this abuse 

 **ZhOnG:** i just wanted to let the loner have friends and yall are treating me like this

 

 **10outof10:** your hair is still fried as shit tho lol

 

 **Peesung:** sorry nephew

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol sorry for this shitty chapter we literally have no time to write this fic now that school has started and seriously we are out of ideas god help us 
> 
> if any of you beautiful readers have any ideas make sure to leave them in the comments 
> 
> anneyone shiste, sistar saranghayo you


	13. Haechan Comin Fass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lol sorry for not updating for however many months we literally never had the chance to skype yeet  
> merry christmas yall   
> yeetus deletus

8:39pm

 

 **Hansenon:** sup guys

 **Hansenon:** i broke my fuckin leg

 

 **Junguwu:** aww no are you ok?

 

 **Hetero:** oh this gc was so dead

 **Hetero:** whats crackalackin

 

 **Hansenon:** my fucking shin apparetly

 

 **Lonjwin:** how did you manage that you dickwad

 

 **J O H N:** he woz comin fass onna pogo stick

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** are u fuchkin blind

 

 **Hansenon:** well ye i cant fuckin move for the next four weeks

 **Hansenon:** do any of ye have any netflix recommendations

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** watch shane dawsons documentary on jeffree star

 

 **LoseLose:** watch your grandmas porno you loser

 

 **Hansenon:** me nans ded 

 

 **Jeffrey:** its free real estate

 

 **J O H N:** fuck off you literally washed your hands in an ikea play set

 

 **Jeffrey:** at least i know how pronounce ikea

 

 **TY Track:** guys stop fighting its christmas tomorrow

 **TY Track:** we should all be happy

 

 **XUXI:** fuk i didnt get anyone presents yet

 

 **Lonjwin:** its ok christmas is just a huge lump of capitalist scum

 **Lonjwin:** free us from this capitalistic society

 

 **Hetero:** haha your communist roots are coming out

 

 **Lonjwin:** im just spilling the tea sis 

 

 **J O H N:** she snapped

 

 **LoseLose:** so what do yall want to get for christmas

 

 **XUXI:** i wanna be winston

 

 **Bunny_Boi:** im already tracer

 

 **J O H N:** i guess ill be genji

 

 **Hetero:** nerf bastian

 

 **Hansenon:** miss me we that weird shit fuck off

 

 **Hetero:** miss?

 **Hetero:** do you mean

 **Hetero:** hit or miss

 

 **J O H N:** i guess they never miss huh

 

 **TY Track:** ok thats enough brain damage for today

 

 **Hetero:** i read that as brian damage

 **Hetero:** ajsdhajshkajhdkh

 

 **TY Track:** further proves my point

 

 


End file.
